My Soul Journey and Path

In ancient Hebrew wisdom, I came to understand that the Soul, the Neshamah, is the part of us which is made of Divine Essence and is always in contact with God. This is the part within us which is latent in most people.

The Soul decides to embark on a journey of growth and uses an incarnation as a vehicle to do this. The Soul is the real Self. Some call this aspect of us, the Higher Self, the Divine Self or the Holy Guardian Angel. My body and this life is the vehicle chosen by my Soul to do development, by learning its lessons. I have come to the conclusion that the “me”, the lower self is just the ego. It is of actually of very little consequence to the Soul. Ultimately the ego will surrender totally to the Soul, the Higher Self, whether it happens in this life or the next.

So what happens to us then? I discovered that I have been Awakened. After 30 years in the Charismatic church where I served as Worship leader for over 20 years, I became so desperate for God. I found myself meditating for 10 mins in 2004 per day for the very first time. In 2005 I felt God asking me to give up all I had going for me in the church, my affiliation and music ministry etc.

In 2006 I began reading (by Divine Guidance) books that the church would ordinarily frown upon, like the Book of Enoch, the Esoteric books on the Tree of Life, the Lost books of Moses and Occult books of Solomon to name a few. There was something there my Soul obviously needed for its own development. My meditations became part of a Daily routine and I found it is central to my spiritual practice. I thought about this and realised what was happening to me.

When one experiences an Awakening, it is when the Soul Consciousness recognises itself and realises who he is. This happens on the Sphere on the Tree of Life referred to as Kether, the Crown where God’s name is Eheyeh (I AM). When the I AM-ness began to stir in my soul, I found myself embarking on my true spiritual path. My years in the church had to be left behind me. The deceptions and church doctrines had to be left behind.

The Soul now has one goal. The “I AM” need to develop and defeat the “me”. I had to come to a place of understanding that me, the lower self, is just an illusion. I find myself in a very different place and path than 5 years ago. My Soul has been steering and directing my choices. I had become a vegetarian, I am no longer following church doctrine or religious practises, I believe in things I previously thought was hogwash, like astrology and reincarnation.

My life has been transformed. I will remain on this accelerated path for as long as my Soul requires it from me. I thought about this for a while. How do we become “awakened”? Some people awaken spontaneously. Some people try meditation and awaken as a result. I have a guided meditation which produces the result of an awakening. I suppose it can happen that way too. But I recall someone saying to me that if God does not call forth your Soul to awaken, you just won’t. I wondered if that is why people who are atheists and agnostics are so anti-God. Perhaps it is just not their time yet and they know it.

Perhaps their souls know that it was not planned for them to awakening within this lifetime, but only on the next or the one after. Who knows?

Something else I know about the “I AM” consciousness is that the Hebrew Name of God not only implies Self-awareness, but it also means I BECOME THAT WHICH I BECOME. There is an aspect of evolving, of maturing and developing involved. This does imply a measure of change that takes place within the individual. As one grows and changes within, the Inner Light of the Divine also begins to shine brighter and brighter. You begin to see others who are growing and others who have awakened also become aware of you in close proximity.

And I realise also there are many more people who have awakened, more than ever in history. Unfortunately however, there are millions who follow the church path and think, by following Jesus as Lord and Saviour, they are awakened. They think they are in the light, while in reality; they are still stumbling around in darkness. Church and religion generally has been designed to keep ignorant people in ignorance.

What is the deep cry of your Soul to you today? Is their a deep cry, a groan within you to be awakened from your slumber? Do you know how to respond to this cry? Remember this one thing, all you need for your Soul Development, you will find within yourself and not in church teachings or doctrines. There is an integration that must take place between the Divine within and the physical, the outer self. Here the outer surrenders to the will and lordship of the Divine within.

The Gospel of Thomas makes a few interesting statements on this regard:

Jesus said, "If those who lead you say to you, 'See, the Kingdom is in the sky,' then the birds of the sky will precede you. If they say to you, 'It is in the sea,' then the fish will precede you. Rather, the Kingdom is inside of you, and it is outside of you. When you come to know yourselves, then you will become known, and you will realize that it is you who are the sons of the living Father. But if you will not know yourselves, you dwell in poverty and it is you who are that poverty."

Jesus saw infants being suckled. He said to his disciples, "These infants being suckled are like those who enter the Kingdom."
They said to him, "Shall we then, as children, enter the Kingdom?"

Jesus said to them, "When you make the two one, and when you make the inside like the outside and the outside like the inside, and the above like the below, and when you make the male and the female one and the same, so that the male not be male nor the female female; and when you fashion eyes in place of an eye, and a hand in place of a hand, and a foot in place of a foot, and a likeness in place of a likeness; then will you enter the Kingdom."